St John's College
Roxanne-O-Gram #4
October 7, 2005

This has been a tough week.

When things go wrong here, I have a hard time adjusting because
there's little room for error. Today was the first time I've been in
breakdown since I got here. Seeing as today is the first of a four-day
weekend, I wonder whether this is because I haven't had the leisure
before.

Let's see if I can describe this week through ten events that balance
each other in their positive and negative aspects.

First positive event: I shared music with someone! I'm cool!
First negative event: What, my phone doesn't work? Oh, S***.

Second positive event: I saw a Bristol Channel Cutter, two Hereschoff
12s & a Marshall Catboat at the boat show. Plus some awesome
applications of microfiber.
Second negative event: The woman I work for is sort of insane.

Third positive event: I got my comic books from Belgium!
Third negative event: I had a breakdown facing my financial papers.

Fourth positive event: I made friends with the help of coffee and LU
chocolate biscuits.
Fourth negative event: My roomie and I are decidedly estranged.

Fifth positive event: I dissected an ox heart.
Fifth negative event: It was missing some pieces.

Some weird stuff's been happening too. Today, for example, two pieces
of jewelry that are most important to me broke. And I keep losing
important stuff, then finding it again.

Even the bad things have their upside, sometimes. Today it was wet and
I got rained on, but just to walk down the street when the wind is
cool and strong and see the buildings and the sky feels like a gift
when I'm hurrying to class, or to work, and I'm suddenly so amazed and
excited to be here. I have to remember that, because there's certainly
enough else to think about. John Labat [one of the guys who built Wind Song]
actually reminded me when I called him last, and when I ran into him at the boat show for a
minute. I see everything I'm doing, all the things I'm working on, but
for him, it was just amazing that this had happened. He pointed out
that I'm living a dream here.

It feels real to me.